You Claim It, You Name It.
THE 1-1 “STOPWATCH” TECHNIQUE:
For every 1 second your child is not making good choices: You receive 1 minute of personal restoration time.
CLAIMING YOUR 1-1 MINUTES / PERSONAL RESTORATION TIME:
Claiming Minutes is the second step, yet the most important component to 1-1 Family. When you actually claim your accrued minutes and take your personal restoration time, that is when 1-1 engages your child and motivates her/him to make good life choices. If you count minutes for your child but don't follow through with claiming your minutes, then there are no natural consequences and your child will learn nothing, and you will not see any results. The time you spend being restored is more beneficial for your child than it is for you.
The most effective way to claim your minutes and get your rest is to do so at the moment when your child really wants to do something and he or she needs your time and resources to make it happen. It doesn't have to be at really important times, like a long awaited play date or a trip to Disneyland, but it does need to be somewhat significant. You don't want to claim your minutes when your child is at school or sleeping. They wouldn't even know or feel the work of natural consequences. Some of the best times to claim minutes is when they want to go to the park, go to a toy store, play in the backyard, or play with a neighborhood friend. It should be something the child could do on another day or week. And 1-1 recommends claiming your minutes on the weekends. This will have the most impact. Don't worry about having boring and unfulfilled weekends. Your child's opposition to you will diminish before you know it, and soon your weekends will be filled with joyful activities and a child who listens and does not argue with you. You will have more energy and a closer 1-1 relationship as a result.
Claiming Minutes is the second step, yet the most important component to 1-1 Family. When you actually claim your accrued minutes and take your personal restoration time, that is when 1-1 engages your child and motivates her/him to make good life choices. If you count minutes for your child but don't follow through with claiming your minutes, then there are no natural consequences and your child will learn nothing, and you will not see any results. The time you spend being restored is more beneficial for your child than it is for you.
The most effective way to claim your minutes and get your rest is to do so at the moment when your child really wants to do something and he or she needs your time and resources to make it happen. It doesn't have to be at really important times, like a long awaited play date or a trip to Disneyland, but it does need to be somewhat significant. You don't want to claim your minutes when your child is at school or sleeping. They wouldn't even know or feel the work of natural consequences. Some of the best times to claim minutes is when they want to go to the park, go to a toy store, play in the backyard, or play with a neighborhood friend. It should be something the child could do on another day or week. And 1-1 recommends claiming your minutes on the weekends. This will have the most impact. Don't worry about having boring and unfulfilled weekends. Your child's opposition to you will diminish before you know it, and soon your weekends will be filled with joyful activities and a child who listens and does not argue with you. You will have more energy and a closer 1-1 relationship as a result.
