THE PRIMARY 1-1 FAMILY OBJECTIVE:

To Teach Your Child To Make Their Own Good Choices At An Early Age.

“Sow a thought, and you reap an act; Sow and act, and you reap a habit; Sow a habit and you reap a character; Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.” —Charles Reade

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
—Proverbs

These two principles are at the heart of the four 1-1 Family techniques. To sum them up, parents need to teach children to sow a lasting habit of making good choices early on so they can reap a great life when they mature into adulthood. Making choices is central to how we as humans function and operate in this world. We are granted personal sovereignty, often referred to as free will or autonomy. Autonomy, meaning "self-governed freedom," is something we all possess from birth. The aim is to guide your child in learning how to govern themselves, making good choices in each moment throughout their childhood in order to form a lasting habit. This foundation helps ensure they grow into adults who continue making wise decisions, leading to a fulfilling and extraordinary life.

Keeping Count Of Personal Boundaries

How do your children break your boundaries? Frustration often sets in when you create family rules along with good and safe boundaries to protect your child, only to have those boundaries repeatedly tested. It’s natural for children to challenge rules as they try to assert their independence and maintain a sense of control. However, it’s crucial for them to start making wise choices now, while they’re in the safe and secure environment of your home.

Here are some of the ways your child may oppose your boundaries:

• Completely Ignores You
• Refuses To Cooperate
• Gets Angry / Defiant
• Argues Constantly
• Don't Accept Your No's & Yes's
• Tries To Change Your Mind
• Lies To You

• Omit / Hide Truth From You
• Manipulate You
• Talks Back To You
• Hits / Hurts You
• Runs Away From You
• Yells / Screams
• Throws Tantrums

• Delays Your Requests
• Complains With You
• Bargains With You
• Hurts Themselves
• Lies / Manipulates
• Hides / Sneaks
• Keeps Breaking Rules

The Old-School “Just Listen, Or Else” Parenting Mindset

How do you discipline your child when they break your boundaries? If you've ever punished your child because they didn't "listen" to you, then you have a parenting mindset like that of billions of parents around the globe. We call this the “Just Listen, Or Else” mindset. How are you to teach your children to listen to and follow the rules unless they have a punishment or a stern consequence? Something has to be done, right? The problem is that parents use fear, threats and punishments to somehow motivate their child to listen to them instead of teaching them to make their own wise choices at an early age.

Here are some of the ways that “Just Listen, Or Else” parents discipline their children:

• Put Child In Time Out
• Send Child To Room
• Extra Chores For Child
• Take Away Privileges
• Ground Child
• Spank Child

• Yell / Raise Your Voice
• Shaming Language
• Threatening Language
• Early Bedtime
• No Dessert
• Canceling Events

• You Suffer Through It
• Loss Of Allowance
• Wash Mouth With Soap
• Talk / Reason With Child
• Appease / Do Nothing
• Be Your Child's BFF

Now, these “Just Listen, Or Else” tactics have worked for eons, but they only work so well, and they have several unintended consequences. 1-1 Family prefers to use fun and freedom over fear.