3 Elements To Bring A Closer 1-1 Relationship
When your child breaks the clear PERSONAL BOUNDARIES you've set for them and yourself, the NATURAL CONSEQUENCES are a temporary reduction in their AUTONOMY during the time you decide to Claim Minutes and take your personal restoration time. While you are taking that needed time, new, more limited boundary lines are drawn for your child. You're not punishing your child. You're teaching your child. You're simply drawing tighter boundaries within which they can exercise their freedoms. The 1-1 Parenting Principle teaches your child to make better choices in order to maintain and increase their autonomy by respecting you and your boundaries. As a result, you and your child will enjoy a closer 1-1 relationship.
These Are The Three Elements That Are At Work With 1-1:
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PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
Every human being has and needs personal boundaries. Parents have boundaries, and parents need to set boundaries for their children. Children need boundaries and actually want them to feel safe. When your child breaks your boundaries or the boundaries you set for them, there needs to be a natural consequence, so they can learn to make better choices. |
NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
Natural consequences are a part of life. You don't need to come up with contrived punishments for your child. With 1-1, the natural consequence for breaking your boundaries, is a temporary reduction of your child's autonomy. While you take your personal restoration time, your child's freedom is limited while your energy is being restored. |
AUTONOMY
Autonomy is defined as self-governed freedom. Every human gets this natural desire to be in control at the age of 2. That's why the "Terrible Twos" are so terrible. Children need boundaries, but they fight against them because of their desire for autonomy. 1-1 teaches children how to use their freedom in a healthy manner, make good choices to live a good life. |
So... When Personal Boundaries between you and your child are broken, the Natural Consequence is the temporary reduction of their Autonomy. It's that simple.
